One of the best compilations of cat humor I’ve found is The Devious Book For Cats, a textbook for the feline looking for ways to keep life entertaining. Here are some tips from the book on how to get away with anything:
It’s best to put on a cute face by head butting your human or looking at them with wide eyes that say “look at this face, do you really think I could do such a bad thing”? Humans fall for this most of the time and will let you off the hook.
Deny All Knowledge
There’s a broken dish and paw prints near it that look very much like yours. At times like this, it’s important to give the impression you aren’t interested in what’s going on, or that the broken dish ever existed. Turn and walk away, leaving your human furious because they can’t prove you did anything wrong.
Blame Someone Else
This is very easy to do if there’s more than one pet in the house, especially a dog. Look at ways to frame the other pet for the crime if you have reason to think the methods mentioned above won’t work. Dogs usually don’t understand they’re being framed, making it easy to set them up as the culprit. Your human will be tempted to shut up in a room you don’t want to be shut in, but the dog will probably only receive a bop on the nose. If the dog is blamed, you’ll get off scot-free and get to enjoy the dog taking your punishment.
When Nothing Works
Even with the best planning, sometimes punishment is unavoidable. When you are caught and punishment happens, make the most of your time out. See this as an opportunity for grooming or napping.
You’ll get out eventually and give the impression of the repentant feline. The moral of the story: don’t get caught next time!
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The Devious Book For Cats by Fluffy and Bonkers is available in our online store at http://fullyfeline.wpengine.com/cat-products/